Not Me! Monday

16 03 2009


Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

*I did not practically invite a shady stranger into my home (when my husband was not even here; just me and the kids)… a stranger who had shown up with a sad story about his life on the streets, turned prisoner, turned newly-released ex-con…a stranger who was selling MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS… I totally did not do this. I mean, I give him props for being able to add the “ex” part to his “con” status. But it was still scary. (The whole situation was very reminiscent of the hitch hiker I did not pick up a year and a half ago.)

*I did not suggest through clenched teeth that HEY, maybe we should have shoved one of our children (I don’t want to name names here or anything) (but I will say that he is the naughtier of the two and his name rhymes with Feethan) into one of the drawers of the dresser we’d just sold on Craigslist, because they’d just hauled it away moments before, and I’m SURE they would not have heard the yelling coming from inside the dresser, right? No, I never said any such thing. That would make me an AWFUL mother. (Oh, come on, I would have gotten him back the next day. Honestly.)

*During an episode of Dollhouse that we watched last night, I DID NOT see Eliza Dushku’s portrayal of a blind person and then remark, “I wonder if blind people are offended by how actors who can see play blind people?” (Someone remind me to think before I say things out loud, please?)

*I did not just eat a big bowl of pistachios and call it lunch. That’s not healthy, and I eat healthily all the time. So no, I did not do that.

*Nor did I wash them all down with a brownie. Never.

*I was not the mother at the grocery store this morning with the two children who were screaming their heads off, frantically bribing them with gum (for the eldest; just the wrapper for the baby to play with) to just please be quiet. Nor was I the mother of the little boy who opened the bin of coffee beans and let them all spill out onto the floor. That wasn’t me. That was some other poor, exhausted chump.

*I did not let Ethan watch an extra hour of tv just so I could write this and read other people’s blogs. I never do that. It’s hands-on, arts & crafts type stuff all day, every day in our house.

*I was not mistaken for my kids’ babysitter twice in one week. OH NO WAIT YES I TOTALLY WAS. That one was not not me. Score!



6 responses

16 03 2009

Awesome job! That is funny about being the sitter.

16 03 2009
Ethan's Oma

you are too funny. seriously.

17 03 2009

This is just one of those water spitting, knee slapping, lose bladder control kind of posts!
Thank you for the laughs (so loud I woke my youngest!) I am totally going to be stalking your sense of humor from now on!
Coloring Outside The Lines

17 03 2009

Mwahaha! That is all.

18 03 2009

Y’all are too kind.

(That sounded weird, didn’t it? Try as I might, I just CANNOT get away with using “y’all.” It doesn’t even work for me in type!)

19 03 2009
Meandering Stranger « Sublime Bedlam

[…] 19 03 2009 Oh, people. PEOPLE. Do you remember the other day when I was, all “Ohhh, no, I opened the door to a stranger, a stranger with the […]

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