Public Service Announcement

29 12 2008

Or, I Am a Moron So That You Don’t Have to Be

Ever wonder what happens when you put a frozen pizza in the oven? Directly on the rack, no pizza stone, no cookie sheet, nothin’? When the instructions on the back CLEARLY state that you must use the cardboard tray included in the box? Weeeeell, folks. Good thing you’ve got me here to make a fool of myself and find out for you. Allow me to present you with PRECISELY what happens in this situation:

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Why, yes, that IS a pizza with a giant gaping hole in the middle of it. And underneath it is a cookie sheet to catch all the gloppy, uncooked dough and oozing, melted cheese. I didn’t place the cookie sheet there until AFTER half of the thing had created a nice, steaming layer on the bottom of the oven; not until AFTER the smoke alarm had gone off, right above Ethan’s head, scarring him for life.

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And yeah, that there is the resulting pile of pizza. (Don’t worry, I ate all of the cheese off before throwing it out.)

My late Christmas present to you is this little nugget, a lesson learned the messy way: always read the directions when you’re cooking, ESPECIALLY when you think they’re of the simple, ‘turn oven on, put pizza in’ variety. That’s when they really get you.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering: we had cereal for dinner.


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8 responses

29 12 2008
Ethan's Oma

WOW !!! i always put pizza directly on the rack and this has never happened to me before….what brand was it ?

29 12 2008
Mae

I always put pizza on the rack too (no cardboard) and like Ethan’s Oma that has never happened to me. Jusk your luck Caley! he he

29 12 2008
Mae

Also, that pizza looks so good, I would have ate it anyway.

29 12 2008
Victoria

That happened to me once. The instructions SAID to do it that way, but they LIED!

29 12 2008
Hallie

I have never had that issue but my pizza said you put it on the rack. I’m sorry… but that is funny. I hope you at least had sugary cereal.

30 12 2008
Dave

Aside from the mess the pizza looks good.

30 12 2008
Caley

Ethan’s Oma: Freshetta Pizza’more or some crazy name like that. It’s never happened to you because these things ONLY HAPPEN TO ME.

Mae: Which is exactly why I ate all the cheese off of it. I would have eaten the whole thing if the dough hadn’t been grossly undercooked. I am not one to let pizza go to waste.

Victoria: Weeell, my instructions DID tell me to use the tray provided. I just didn’t read the instructions till AFTER DISASTER STRUCK.

Hallie: We had Berry Berry Kix. We try not to keep sugary cereal in the house, on account of the demons it unleashes in Ethan after one bowl. So Crunch Berry Cap’n Crunch’s slightly healthier cousin, Berry Berry Kix, was the most exciting cereal we had on hand. Perhaps I should keep a secret stash of sugary cereal just for such an occasion, because we can’t rule out this never happening to me again.

Dave: It was. Very good. I almost didn’t have room left for my cereal. And if you cook it ACCORDING TO THE INSTRUCTIONS, I bet its a great pizza, when it’s not in a pile.

9 01 2009
astarte

OMG, we eat Frechetta all the time, and that’s never happened to us, either!!! I would have had the exact same thing happen, because most pizzas say specifically NOT to put the cardboard in there!

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