Because I like to help

1 03 2008



You just found an unopened bag of Christmas-themed M&Ms in the Candy Drawer. (The fact that you are an adult and yet still have a drawer in the kitchen devoted entirely to candy (candy for YOURSELF, not THE CHILDREN) is a whole ‘nother problem.) The M&Ms are surely still good, right? I mean, they’re only a few months old and still in a sealed package. (I looked and looked all over the bag for a ‘best by’ date, but could find none, unless “736ELHKP22” is the date, in which case they’ll be fresh FOREVER.) You cannot bring yourself to throw away perfectly good, albeit out-of-season, candy. What to do?


Dump the bag into the candy dish and plan your next three days (it shouldn’t take more than that; in fact, I did it in less) (not that I’m BRAGGING, or anything) such that every single activity you do, from making lunch to changing the television channel to blowing your nose, brings you past the dish. Scarf down a handful of ONLY THE RED M&Ms at each passing. And voilá: in no time, you will have yourself a bowl of St. Patrick’s Day M&Ms, and you are now AHEAD OF THE GAME.




4 responses

1 03 2008
ethans oma

My, you are clever !

1 03 2008

You crack me up! In my house, the green ones would be gone by now too. I just finished eating all of the red candy in the house because heaven forbid I serve Valentine’s candy past its prime. 🙂

1 03 2008

He he! That was much cheaper than ordering only green ones from their website!

3 03 2008

*clap, clap, clap* Genius. Pure genius.

When I was little (and by little I mean until I went to college, which is when I realized this was a little odd) I would obsessively eat M&Ms one color at a time in this order: dark brown, tan (remember those?), orange, yellow, green, and red.

I’ve shared too much, haven’t I?

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