Creepy creep; Pumpkin popping

22 10 2007

This morning Ethan and I went out to Whole Foods to pick up a couple of things (just a couple; any more than that and there wouldn’t be a Christmas at the Adams’ this year), and afterwards, since it was such a beautiful summer day, we decided to walk around the rest of the shopping plaza. Oh, excuse me; did I say ‘summer’? Silly me. When it’s sunny and 83 degrees outside, I tend to think it’s June. Can fall just get here already so I can start cooking some yummy fall things? I’m getting impatient. I’m also getting off the topic. Where was I?

Oh, right. Walking around the plaza. So this majorly creepy guy was seated outside a Starbucks, openly staring at Ethan and I as we walked in his direction, with this hungry looking grin on his face. I thought to myself, okay, maybe I know him? I didn’t have my glasses on, so I couldn’t be sure. As we got closer, I became sure that I didn’t know who he was, that he was just plain creepy and staring at us. When Ethan noticed the guy looking at us and smiling, he got shy, as he usually does, and stopped walking and hid behind me, sticking his head pretty much in between my legs. Just doing what any normal toddler-age kid does when he gets shy, hiding his face in Mommy.

And that’s when the creepy guy made an extremely crude comment, which was immediately followed by him asking his name. He’d made the comment so quickly, and it was so rude, and then followed it up with a question that was totally normal, that I wasn’t sure if I’d heard him right. So I answered, telling him Ethan’s name, and then immediately regretted it. (From now on, if strangers ask my son’s name, I’m just going to tell them it’s Bob.) I kept urging Ethan to come out from hiding so we could continue on our way, and all the while the creep kept staring and asking Ethan how he was doing.

I finally got him to move his feet again, and we reached the end of the plaza, only, I realized, to have to walk back, past the creep again. Luckily, even though he was still there, he was facing away from us, so he wasn’t aware we were there until we’d almost passed him. And then he started in again, talking to Ethan and making sure to use his name. A lot. I didn’t say anything, didn’t even look at him, and just kept walking. But all the way back to the end of the plaza, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was there, behind us. I kept looking back, and I didn’t see him, so I’m pretty sure he hadn’t followed us. Nevertheless, I was kind of freaked out. I mean, I’m alone, with a toddler, and I can’t exactly move quickly. The last time I ran was… well, I could see my feet back then. A long time ago.

To make matters worse, ever since we got the new car- a big old SUV- I tend to park far away from other vehicles, since I SUCK at parking it without like, hitting things. So I still had to walk through the less-populated parking lot to get to my car and safety. The guy didn’t follow us. We’re fine. But I was freaked out nonetheless.

Anyway, that story had no point, since in the end, nothing bad happened. The whole rest of the day, though, Ethan was a booger. (Why is my spell check underlining ‘booger’? That is so spelled right. ‘Booger’ isn’t a valid, dictionary-approved word? Since when??) We had to go back out later in the day to meet Jeff and do the grocery shopping (I make Jeff go with me now since bending down to pick up cases of pop or cases of water, gallons of milk, even a bag of marshmallows, actually, is too exhausting and painful on my poor back), and Ethan refused to get back in his car seat. So what did I do? For the first time in my life, I bribed my kid. I brought a candy corn down to the car with me, dangled it in front of his face, and led him to his seat with it, where he hungrily gobbled it up. Sigh. I knew it had to happen sometime.

A comment while we were in the grocery store about the size of my belly, and how I look as if I’m going to “go anytime! Har har!” made for my third one today. In fact, I’ve been told on three different occasions by three different strangers that I look as if I’m smuggling a pumpkin in my shirt. Really? Did you just now come up with that? Or did you think of it last Halloween and save it up till you saw a pregnant woman?

Anyway, I’ll let you be the judge; does this pumpkin look like it’s about to pop? Here it is, 32 weeks large:




5 responses

22 10 2007

Ewwww, that guy would have gotten a kick in the nads from me! Ok, maybe a passive aggressive comment and sneer, but I would have WANTED to kick him in the nads.

And, I hate to say it, because I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but I probably would have been one of those annoying people who made a pumpkin-smuggling comment. ANd you should totally paint it like one for Halloween!

22 10 2007

Hahaha! I love that you said that, because I TOTALLY PAINTED MY BELLY LIKE A JACK-O-LANTERN last week! There’s photographic evidence. I will have to share it soon…

23 10 2007
ethans oma

It just LOOKS bigger because the rest of you is so tiny !

23 10 2007

So does the being excited for cooking fall-y things mean that the last supper was not really the last supper? I totally know what you mean, though, I’ve got some beef stew ingredients hanging out in my fridge, where the temperature is actually autumnal.

23 10 2007

ethans oma: Trust me. It’s bigger. It’s heavy. It makes me tired carrying it around. It is big.

Meg: No, no, the Last Supper was definitely the last supper. But I can’t help but continue baking! I baked Oatmeal Scotchies, but I still want to bake Chocolate Chip Pumpkin muffins and Apple Crisp. As for the fall cooking, all the yummy things I want (your beef barley soup, chicken noodle soup, cider roasted chicken, apple cranberry stuffed pork… the list goes on…) I plan to just inform Jeff that that’s what he’s making for dinner. But I just can’t when it’s 80 and humid out!

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