Knocked up

26 09 2007

And I know this because:

1.  The big belly. (Thought I’d start with the obvious.)

2.  THE BIG BELLY. Seriously. It is so big that it has actually been mistaken FOR A SEAT. More than once. Ethan has come up to me and tried to sit on my belly while he watches TV. I tried explaining to him that it’s a place for the baby to live, not a place for his butt to live, but he just looks confused, points at my belly and asks, “Dit? DIT?” (Still working on those s’s.)

3.  I went grocery shopping today, and somehow managed to lose my list somewhere between Aisle 2 (diapers, toilet paper) and Aisle 4 (cereal, Pop Tarts). I never found it.

4.  We now have $80 of food we didn’t need, and $0 of food we did need. I was not able to remember ANYTHING I’d written on the list except for Twizzlers. Anyone know of a side dish that compliments a nice licorice dinner well?

5.  I LOVE me an ice cream sandwich. I was near tears when I found them filled with cookies ‘n cream ice cream. HEAVEN.

6.  I feel like I’m about 12 minutes behind the rest of the world. I repeat the phase, “I don’t get it…?” to myself way too often. I never know what day it is anymore. I forget what I’m saying mid-sentence. I go into rooms for things and then spend 5 minutes just standing there, wondering why I ever came into that room in the first place.

7.  That “Secret Panel” on my great maternity jeans? Not so secret anymore; it’s totally visible to the whole wide world thanks to the fact that none of my maternity shirts have the tarp-like quality required to cover my belly anymore.

8.  When I drop crumbs of food, they land on my belly. Sometimes they get trapped in the crevice between belly and boobs.

9.  On one occasion Ethan has come along later and found this lost food treasure and eaten it.

10.  Bending down to pick something up is no longer possible. Because of this, I can’t carry anything in my arms or hands. Everything I need gets kicked around on the floor from room to room throughout the house.

11.  Ethan is an exception to this rule, don’t worry.

12. It’s time for a second ice cream sandwich and this post is not even finished yet.

13.  I got to the kitchen, to the freezer- I got so far as opening the door, actually- and decided maybe I should have a healthier snack. I opened the cupboard and the first thing I saw was peanut butter crackers. Those have to be better than ice cream, right? A quick check of the labels and I find out that not only does the ice cream have 7 grams LESS of fat than the crackers, they have more calcium and vitamin something or other and only slightly more sugar. What? I don’t get it…?

14.  I compromised and ate the ice cream sandwich. And half the crackers.

15. I’m 97% sure I experienced some Braxton Hicks contractions last night. I can’t be 100% sure because since I was induced last time, I never felt a single contraction until AFTER they’d doped me all up, and that makes for some pretty hazy memories.


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6 responses

26 09 2007
ethans oma

Please be careful when you are kicking things along, that’s how I broke my toe a few years ago.

26 09 2007
AndreAnna

Not even ONE contraction? You lucky SOB. LOL.

I remember the Braxton Hicks feeling like a charlie horse in my belly.. like it would tighten up and almost come to a point by the belly button…

Now, the real contractions. Woe, woe, woe. LOL

26 09 2007
Swistle

Ha ha!

26 09 2007
Caley

ethan’s oma: It’s more of a push than a kick.

AndreAnna: I felt them, but only while Under the Influence, which means that I remember them in the same way that I remember why, after what I’m sure was a GREAT night in college, my pants and shoes were caked in mud and left in the hall outside my dorm room. Which is to say, not at all.

27 09 2007
aliasmother

Things in this post that I could have written: numbers 1, 2 (though with me it’s the dog and cat), 4, 6 (I recently sent a coworker an e-mail minus the needed attachment 5 times in a row. Me smart), 7, 8, 10, 12, 13, and 14.

I believe I am slowly becoming a danger to society.

25 10 2007
Knocked up « Sublime Bedlam

[…] October 25, 2007 Knocked up Posted by Caley under Pregnancy   More evidence has come to light since the first: […]

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