Monkey stuffing

28 08 2007

I haven’t baked anything in about a week. I check Crafty Daisies daily, in hopes that Embroidery Lesson 3 will be up. It’s not. I can’t knit more than 2 rows in a sitting, and considering I only sit once a day, that adds up to about… oh, 2 rows a day. I haven’t sewn anything in who knows how long (though I do have a stash of new fabric awaiting me; but considering my sewing machine is broken, that does me no good). So… what exactly am I doing with my time?

I couldn’t tell ya. I do not know. It must have to do with being pregnant. I feel like I spend my days wandering around in a confused haze. I play with Ethan, and I prepare meals, and I sit in the bathroom with him while he sits on the potty, but… that’s all I do. And then I wonder why I have nothing to blog about besides how time is flying by and I’ve done nothing.

So let’s talk about pregnancy. More specifically, maternity clothes. I have a question: why is the butt section of the maternity bottom (pants, skirts, capris, whathaveyou), no matter what size you wear, SO FREAKING BIG? I’m not pregnant in the rump, maternity-clothes-manufacturers; I’m pregnant IN THE BELLY. You don’t need to mess with the butt of all bottoms, just the waist. I have yet to find a single pair of jeans or pants that fit in the butt as well as the waist. In every single pair I’ve tried on, I could fit a small monkey in the roominess of fabric that is left flapping about back there.

While my regular, non-maternity tops don’t fit by any means anymore (in fact, my belly is actually peeking out the bottom of most of my maternity shirts already), I am still wearing non-maternity clothes on the bottom. Some of the clothes were elastic-waisted things that I can easily just push down lower. Some of them, three pairs of gauchos, for example, are a knit, stretchy fabric that again, I can just push down lowlowlow. As for the rest, I’m an admitted user of the hairband method (looping an elastic hairband through the button hole and stretching it over the button on the other side to pretend like the pants are securely fastened). However, this method is only okay for standing; I can’t sit down or bend over without the hairband popping off and possibly taking out someone’s eyeball. It’s getting dangerous.

So before I find myself posting pictures of Ethan sporting his new eyepatch, I decided I’d better do something about this. And since stuffing a monkey down the back of my pants to fill them out is not a place I want to go, I’m wondering how well these Bella Band things work. Anyone ever try them? I have a bandeau type of bra, and it looks like exactly the same thing- just a tube of thin elastic-ey material (when you’re a 34A (when not pregnant or breastfeeding), thin elastic-ey material is more than enough to support WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE). It would be weird if I tried that instead of shelling out the 20 bucks for the Bella Band, wouldn’t it? I can’t very well walk around with a bra around my waist, can I? No. No, I can’t. Let’s forget I suggested that. I guess I’m off to order a Bella Band. Wish me luck!


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6 responses

28 08 2007
AndreAnna

My Bella Band was THE best thing I ever found, especialy toward the end!

I too am guilty of the hairband method. The sad fact is that I still use it on “fat days.” LOL!!

28 08 2007
Meg

Because I am (ok, was) a professional researcher, I found out how the Bella Band works.

“The Bella Band is a seamless knit band you wear at your waistline, over your unbuttoned pre-pregnancy pants, over slightly big maternity pants, or around the waistband of any maternity style that falls down around your hips. The Bella Band holds your pants up, disguising bulky unfastened closures or excessive fabric creating a smooth belly surface. Now, no one has to know your pants are undone or loose. Wear the Bella Band concealed, or let it peek out from under your top for that hip, layered look. If your top rises, it looks like a t-shirt or camisole — not a funky mechanism to expand your waistband or hold up your pants.

29 08 2007
aliasmother

The Bella Band was an absolute failure for me. Every time I moved it rode up until it was around my ribcage.

But other women love this thing. I suspect it has something to do with body shape. I have wide hips and a (um, normally) narrow waist. Thus, the darn thing wouldn’t stay down over my hips because the elastic wanted to head towards the narrowest part of me. I’m thinking this wouldn’t be a problem for women with narrow hips.

As for me, after I spent a workday hauling the miserable piece of junk back down every five minutes I buried it in the bottom of my Drawer of Private Lady Things. Now that my waist is bigger than my hips, I should try again.

29 08 2007
Swistle

Oh, I remember the confused haze! I’d be all, “Whuh? It’s afternoon? What did we do this morning?” Or I’d be writing a check, and I’d have to leaf through the months in my mind until I hit one that made sense: “August? September? October? November? THAT’S the one.”

30 08 2007
Caley

AndreAnna: I’m glad to hear you liked it, because I just ordered mine, and I’m a little nervous! Also, the hairband method: whatever works, I say. Me, I just stick to things with drawstrings. 🙂

Meg: How much do I owe you? Thanks for doing the work for me!

aliasmother: That’s my biggest fear about this thing: that I’ll spend the day adjusting it and just wishing I’d just left my pants completely unbottoned and unzipped altogether. Especially since my days are spent chasing, corralling and wrangling a toddler. I’m curious to see how it will stand up to all that… roughousing.

Swistle: I TOTALLY have to leaf through months in my head, too! Not just months, years (“200…5? 6? 7? It’s 2007 already? Am I sure it’s not 2008?”)… days of the week (I often go through entire days before I realize that I’ve been living as if it’s a WEDNESDAY and not a Thursday, which can really throw a person off)… people’s names… Sigh. No wonder I’m so exhausted all the time.

3 09 2007
Mmm… cupcakes… « Sublime Bedlam

[…] My Bella Band arrived on Saturday and ohmygoodness how I love it! I changed my clothes immediately so that I could test drive it with a pair of pre-pregnancy pants. Without the Bella Band, the button of my pants was left open, as well as having to leave the fly unzipped completely, so that there were these two flaps of fabric just hanging there. The Bella Band covered that monstrosity up, held my pants up, and let me semi-experience a fashion trend that I’ve missed since getting pregnant: layering. True, it was fake layering, since I didn’t actually have a shirt on underneath my tank top. But to the untrained eye, it appeared as if I did. […]

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