My own Mr. Yuck face

16 07 2007

First, I totally forgot to share my other high point from our trip in my last post: baby kicks! I felt the tiny movements for the first time at a little past 16 weeks, and they’re growing stronger and more frequent every day. So exciting! Okay, now I can move on…

There are many things Ethan does well. Eating used to be one of them. Since he turned two though, he has apparently decided that my cooking does not meet his standards. He hates vegetables, he detests meat, and he has a conniption if something yucky like sauce dares pollute his food (unless it’s ketchup or sour cream, in which case he could do straight shots of the stuff).

So tonight, rather than engage in battle, Jeff fed Ethan dinner (Gerber raviolis and half an apple) while I made our dinner- beef brisket (from Wegmans, which, I am not even joking, I bought while we were in Erie and brought back to VA in a cooler (and this was the second time I’ve done that! I’ll do anything for good food.)) in an Asian barbeque sauce with roasted carrots and potatoes and yummy fresh Italian bread. I was cleaning up the mess I’d made with the cutting board and the vegetables when Jeff finished feeding Ethan and I noticed the dishes he’d put in the sink, which included another cutting board that he’d used to cut Ethan’s apple.

Me (in complete shock that anyone could make such a mistake): JEFF! You used the WRONG cutting board!

Jeff (sighing): I figured I probably did. You always yell at me no matter which one I use. So I just figured, I don’t care.

Me (still in utter disbelief): But you used the MEAT cutting board. Not the fruit and vegetable cutting board.

Jeff: Well you were using that to cut the potatoes and carrots.

Me: We have a third cutting board designated specifically for anything that is NOT raw meat.

Jeff: Well then you need to label them so I know which one is which.

Me (sighing): Oh, Jeffrey. It’s so simple; just think, black (meat) cutting board = DEATH. White (fruit and/or vegetable) cutting board = LIFE. This black one may have harmful bacteria living in it.

Jeff: But it goes in the dishwasher! That kills the bacteria.

Me: Not neccessarily. SALMONELLA could be on there, infiltrating the nutritious apple chunks you’ve just cut up for Ethan. Do you want to take that chance? Remember: black = DEATH, white = LIFE.

Jeff: So what about the third board, then, huh? It’s black, too.

Me (grasping at straws): Uh… well, then you just have to take the white one out of the equation altogether. With the two black cutting boards, your new categories have to do with thickness. Fat (meat) cutting board = DEATH. Skinny (anything else) cutting board = LIFE…

As I went on and on about cutting boards, it occurred to me: 1, I am so anal retentive that it would not be unreasonable for Jeff to have me committed, and 2, that my system is entirely too complicated. You know something’s gotta give when you and your husband spend 20 minutes arguing about cutting boards! To me, the black/white thing and the fat/skinny thing make perfect sense; I have yet to use the wrong cutting board. To Jeff, however, it is a jumble of cutting board confusion to which he sees no solution, and so he just gives up before he’s even begun because he knows no matter what he’s going to make the wrong decision and have to answer to My Pregnant Wrath. I feel for him, I do. I can be scarily perfectionist at times, what with my Correct Way to Fold a Fitted Sheet (the ONLY way to fold a fitted sheet, as far as I’m concerned) and all.

And so that is why our cutting boards now look like this:


Problem solved.



3 responses

16 07 2007

Did you know that Mr. Yuk has a theme song?
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17 07 2007

1.) Don’t you just love the first little kicks you feel? It’s the ones towards the end that are less amusing!
2.) It must be a rule that toddlers are picky eaters.
3.) There is a Wegman’s in Fairfax (about 25 minutes from my house) and one is opening in Woodbridge at the end of this summer. We could make a weekly shopping date – Lauren and I have lunch there on Mondays and then shop.
4.)I would be as confused as Jeff about the cutting boards. You seemed to have solved the problem though.
5.) You are a list maker like me, that is why we are friends! 🙂

18 07 2007

Doug: That was creepy. It kind of reminded me of the Grinch. “Mr. Yuk is meeeeean… Mr. Yuk is greeeeen…” Stuck in my head now.

Kim: I did know about that Wegmans in Fairfax- we actually went there once. But for some reason I have had no desire to try and find it again by myself! Although I’d gladly tag along with you and Lauren once in awhile. Also, don’t you wish EVERYONE (and by everyone, I really mean HUSBANDS) made lists? Life would be so much less complicated…

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