This post is not about food

6 06 2007

I seem to be posting a lot about food lately, don’t I? You’d think its like, all I think about, eating, all day long, or something. But trust me, it’s not. I have to think about where I left my glasses. A lot, surprisingly. And I think a lot about what to watch while Ethan naps- Lifetime movie or E! True Hollywood Story? (I chose the Lifetime movie, which, incidentally, brought me to tears for the third time today. (If you’re interested, the first was when Ethan and Lauren hugged at the playground; I seriously have never seen anything sweeter than babies and little kids, who can’t even speak, giving each other hugs. And the other time was when I accepted a friend request on Myspace, clicked over to the person’s profile, and was all of a sudden listening to… it– you know, that one song, that no matter what you’re doing or feeling at the time, the second you hear it, you’re a big ball of emotional mush, curled up in the corner of the couch, tearfully wondering why the world is such a sad, sad place… no? You don’t have a song like that? That’s just me then, I guess… My it happens to be Coldplay’s “The Scientist”. Thanks a lot, Lou. :-P)).

So you see, when I’m not thinking about food, I’ve got some really important stuff on my mind. Like, why, in the Lifetime movie I watched today, did everyone refer to Angelina Jolie’s character as Legs? Legs? Seriously? That’s the body part they took most notice of on her?

Also, when did I become the kind of person who buys things she might need at Christmas time in June? Yesterday, after a failed playground meeting with Kim and Lauren (can I apologize again for not telling Kim it was the second Grist Mill? I’m sorry!), Ethan and I had some time to kill and decided to browse a nearby Dollar Store. I found some decorations for his birthday party next month for really cheap, and a few other random dollar store things. But I also found Christmas/winter-themed tins that, on the off-chance I find myself convinced that I need to bake dozens and dozens of Christmas cookies while NINE MONTHS PREGNANT, I will use when I give the cookies to friends.  If I can manage to locate them 6 months from now, of course.

Also important is the fact that Ethan is learning a new word almost daily. Some of the words he says are fairly accurate- they actually sound like the word he’s attempting to say (“a-pull”- apple… “buth”- bus… “ebbo”- elbow). And then there are the ones that only his father and I can translate, because… uh… “yaddie”? Yeah, that means “library.” But recently, thanks to Elmo’s Potty Time video (which I watch just to listen to Elmo’s daddy’s voice), much to Jeff’s amusement, he has added “pee pee” and “poopa” to his vocabulary.

This potty training thing, though, I’m concerned about. Whenever I ask Ethan if we need to change his diaper, did he go poo poo? The most I can get out of him is “Umm… gwaba backa mimi. Mimi. Mama? MIMI.” So I’m not sure how we’re going to get him to use the potty if he won’t even let me know that he needs his diaper changed. In preparation, in addition to the video, we’ve also bought Pull-Ups, a potty seat, and M&M’s. Oh, you didn’t know M&M’s were required potty training equipment? How else are you supposed to get them to go in the potty??? BRIBES. I thought that’s how everyone did it…

And, we bought (I bought; Jeff would rather have spent the money on Twizzlers) a $10 inflatable pool for Ethan a few weeks ago. The thing took a good 15 to 20 minutes to fill with the hose. But since we knew the water would be ICE cold, Jeff also made 37 jillion trips upstairs and down with buckets of hot water from the sink to add to it, in the hopes that we might achieve lukewarm. We failed miserably, though I’m sure that Jeff had to have gained some muscular strength.

But the water wasn’t the worst part. No, that title goes to the 7 hours I spent sitting on the driveway manually blowing up the pool, and the 3 hours wherein Jeff took his turn at lightheadedness. This was two weekends ago. And today? Today I found myself wondering why I didn’t buy a hard plastic pool that REQUIRES NONE OF MY PRECIOUS OXYGEN. Duh. Combine this blond moment with that time a couple weeks ago that I came home from Walmart berating the idiot makers of the magnetic letters I’d just bought for only including 26* of the 28 letters of the alphabet in the package. I was sure they’d left out the Z and the Q, deeming them the most infrequently used, and how could they do that to a child trying to learn his A B C’s? THE INJUSTICE.

It has become clear to me that I truly am pregnant. I’m not this dumb normally, I swear. The belly I’ve sprouted overnight has helped it to seem a reality, as well. Last night I had Jeff haul down my box of maternity clothes, because- any day now. Currently I’ve regressed to my postpartum wardrobe, which is roomy and doesn’t require that I unbutton anything in order to go from standing to seated. But I’ll literally be sporting those oh-so-trendy big shirts and awful turtle-belly (like turtle-neck, only on the tum) pants, at the rate I’m going, by like, tonight.

Some of what I found was encouraging; the three sweaters, cardigan, and four or five long-sleeved shirts were more cold-weather clothing than I thought I had (that’s because last time I was convinced I was showing enough to require maternity clothes at two months), which means the less I’ll have to buy come fall and 7 months. But some of the stuff… man. Hideous:

first.jpg

You don’t even need to know what this is- shirt, pants, tarp- doesn’t matter. All that matters is all the crazy business its got going on with the flowers, and the leaves, and the swirly things. Slow down!

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These are sweatpants, and unfortunately, they have a matching sweatshirt. Walking bottle of Pepto. Ew. And I wore them ALL THE TIME.

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I wore this? In public? Sadly, yes.

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And, just for fun, the infamous maternity underwear. Not convinced of their enormous girth? Well, let’s just compare it to a pair of my regular underwear, shall we…?

There. Now do you believe me?

Did I just post photos of my underwear on the internet? First the stick, now this. I have no standards, do I?

Apparently not. I just sucked down a bag of peanut M&M’s in three seconds flat. And now I feel like cookies… or maybe some more mashed potatoes. Yum.

(What? You thought I could go a whole post without updating you as to the foods I’m currently craving? Silly blogreader.)

(Also, you didn’t think I was serious when I said I wasn’t going to eat anthing ever again after watching Ethan eat the sour cream, did you? Silly, silly blogreader, you.)

*I can’t believe I’m admitting to this, but I seriously had to count the letters on my keyboard just now to come up with the correct number. Pregnancy is turning my brain to mush!


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4 responses

6 06 2007
ethans oma

I love that picture of Ethan in the pool !!

12 06 2007
Potty

I’ll never think of Coldplay the same again.

20 06 2007
Kim

The hugs on the playground were very sweet! I think Lauren is giving Ethan practice on being gentle with a younger one.

Ethan does look like he’s enjoying the frigid water!

3 08 2007
Swistle

Do you know what’s funny, or possibly not funny at all? I was like, “Well?? Which letters DID they leave out??” Der.

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