Tuck til you can’t tuck no more

24 04 2007

Last night, during one of many trips into Ethan’s room, I found him sprawled on his back on the pile of pillows on the floor, his arms flung out, snoring away. Clearly I am the only one bothered by this new sleeping arrangement. As usual, I picked him up and put him back in his bed. And, like the night I spent on the floor, before I’d even left the room, he was already falling out again.

Luckily, the practice I got that night paid off and I caught him, rolled him back in. Out he fell again, and again I caught him. Since there was no way I was going to sleep on the floor again, I knew I needed to come up with something. Its one thing when he falls out of bed during the night while I’m in the other room and asleep. But I just can’t bring myself to leave the room while he’s in the process of doing the falling out!

So I decided to tuck. I tucked him in with his blankie very tightly. I just kept tucking, and tucking, telling myself it was for his own good, and it would keep him safe in his bed. After a while, I stood back and admired my work. No child had ever been tucked in more securely.

But then I thought, what happens if his untucked parts (his head and arms) somehow manage to find their way to the edge of the bed? If those parts fall, will his tucked parts (from the chin down) hold steady, thus leaving him to… hang there? And then, convinced this would happen thanks to my stellar tucking work, I undid all the tucks and left him loosely covered, at the mercy of the edge of the bed.

As far as I know, he didn’t fall out again the rest of the night (unless he’s started getting back into bed in his sleep, too). So, I’ve concluded that it doesn’t matter what I do at all. I can tuck him, I can move him from floor to bed, I can catch him. None of it matters, because he’s still going to fall out and I should just leave him alone and let us all get some uninterrupted sleep, for Pete’s sake!

*****

With all the time I spend tucking and returning my toddler to bed during the nighttime hours, you’d think I would be a zombie during the day, and have absolutely no energy to do anything besides the things I need to get done. Not entirely true; somehow I’ve been managing to find time to read (when I’m not sneaking in extra naps, that is).

The last good book I read was while in Hawaii, Your Name is Renee, the true story of a Jewish child who was hidden in a French orphanage during the second world war. I love historical books, especially from that time period. But I have yet to find a good book since. I read a new Elizabeth Berg book, but… eh. And in about an hour I flew through Kirstie Alley’s “How to Lose Your Ass and Regain Your Life,” but oh my goodness, it was rough. It was humorous, yes, but Kirstie is a much better actress than she is a writer.

It was not, however, nearly as painful as Jenny McCarthy’s attempt at writing (“Baby Laughs”). Again, she had the humor going for her. And since I was physically in pain at the time I read it, recovering from just having given birth, I desperately needed to find something about my situation to laugh at. But I think you should kind of have a slight grasp of the English language before you go trying to write a book. It would have been a hundred times better if she’d told her funny stories to a real writer, and paid them to do the work for her.

Ahem. Anyway, I need a good book to read. Any suggestions?

Oh, and in addition to finding time to read, I also found the time to build. What, you ask? Well, you may recall the Man Closet I mentioned before, this random closet in our kitchen that is taller than me, big enough to fit about two and a half men (so I guess technically I should be calling it the Men Closet, huh?), that was completely empty when we moved in. No shelves, no nothing. Well, it took me over a year but I finally solved the conundrum that was the Men Closet. Here it is before:

man_closet_before.jpg

Check out all that unused space at the top!

And here, after a shopping trip to IKEA (a trip where, when first we set out, I had a list of only three things I needed, but when we left, I had about 30 things (here is another one of those things, more building), none of which was on the list):

man_closet_after.jpg

Ah. I feel so much better now. Don’t you?

*****

I’d like to address a question that was recently asked of me: after seeing the newest photo I’d uploaded to Flickr, Rene asked, “Do you make him do these things?”

This was the picture to which she was referring:

biker.jpg

To answer her question, if we could make him do these things, then we could make him sleep in his bed all night, too. And we would make him understand that throwing things at Daddy’s giant screen TV is a no-no.

Additionally, if we could make him do these things, the Christmas card photo shoot would not have looked like this, or like this, or like this.

And while we’re at it, I’d make him eat his vegetables, too. Also, he would be pottytrained by now. If we could make him do anything.

No, sometimes he really does these adorable things on his own and we are lucky enough to get the camera in time. But most of the time, its just a lot of this:

mad_biker.jpg


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3 responses

24 04 2007
Douglas

One good book is “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime” by Mark Haddon. Bill Bryson is a funny author. I’d suggest “A Walk in the Woods,” which is a discussion of his walk down the Appalachian Trail. If you’re looking for law-related fiction, Scott Turow is a good author.

25 04 2007
Kim

I’m a Scott Turow fan too….

25 04 2007
Caley

I really like Jodi Picoult’s law-ey fiction, but I’ve never read any of Turow’s… I’ll have to check him out.

Rene has suggested that I read James Franco’s not-yet-published novel. Let’s only hope he’s as good a writer as he is hot!

Thanks for the suggestions, guys!

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