A few of (my) life’s mysteries

17 04 2007

*What is with these motherly instincts? I get the ones that allow us to lift two ton cars up with our bare hands to save our kids’ lives, or the ones that cause us to throw ourselves in front of oncoming traffic to push a child out of the way. But what in the name of all that is good made me GRAB THE POOP? I mean, at no time was Ethan’s safety threatened. And yet, as he squatted there naked on his bedroom floor (we were getting ready for bath time), and his attention shifted from his dinosaur to the interesting little pile of brown stuff on the floor, and his hand began to move curiously toward it… It was like I was watching it in slow motion. And before I could stop myself, before I had any idea what I was doing, I scooped that pile of poop up off the floor with my bare hands. Why?

*The Hills. What? This is a show? I don’t understand.

*Why do I still flip the light switch (that goes to a light that’s been burned out almost as long as we’ve lived in VA) every time I walk into the kitchen? Even more mysterious: why don’t I just change the light bulb already?

*Why do I get hungry at night? Why can’t I realize that even though they are 100 Calorie Packs I’m scarfing on, when you eat four of them YOU ARE STILL CONSUMING 400 CALORIES AND 15g OF FAT? I should have just had the damn bowl of ice cream to begin with.

*Why is there still a Tupperware of beef brisket in the fridge? We’ve only had it once, 2 or 3 months ago. And it was GOOD. So 1, ew, 3 month old meat. Gross. And 2, how did that piece manage to escape me? As I said, that brisket was GOOD. I would have had thirds if I’d known there was more.

*Why on earth do people still use the word “flibbertigibbet”? Can we outlaw its use?

*Seriously, what is wrong with leashes for children? Kids need restraining.

*Why do I always forget when I’m doing laundry that I’M DOING LAUNDRY??? I have been known to leave loads in the washer for entire days. 26 is too young to be experiencing severe memory loss, right?

*Why can’t my husband join us all in 2007 and deal with the fact that sometimes our son carries his doll around with him? The doll’s name is Football, for goodness’ sakes. Doesn’t that like, cancel out the “girlyness”? GET OVER IT!

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2 responses

17 04 2007
Grammie

Yeah Jeff get over the doll thing,do you remember Buddy? Besides he’s just practicing Daddy skills because he has such a loving Dad himself.
Who knows why we have those instincts but I do know you’ll never loose them.Don’t worry about forgeting things it’s just that having a family means there are alot more things going on to have to remember.

17 04 2007
Lady S

Your son has a doll named Football? That kills me (the name, not that your son has a doll)!

The poop thing grosses me out, but I can totally relate to the laundry thing. I do it all the time. I can only do one load a day (no kids) or it won’t get done correctly.

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