Walk like a man, he DOES

9 08 2006

Or, The Post You Have All Been Waiting For

The Scene: Jeff has just returned home from work, to find me in the living room on the lap top.

Jeff: “Where’s Ethan?”

good_catch.jpgMe: “Still napping.”

“What time did he go down?”

(I said nothing, just looked guiltily up at him.)

“Has he been sleeping since I left at 1??”

“Yeah… well, maybe more like 1:20.”

“And what have you been doing this whole time?”

“I took a shower (OHMYGOODNESS it was wonderful; no one walked in on me the ENTIRE TIME), and I walked out to the mail box, and… I’ve been reading blogs ever since.”

(Jeff says nothing, but I can feel the jealousy and disgust coming at me like little knives from the look in his eyes.)

(Whispering now…) “Seriously, if you don’t make any noise, I mean NOT A SOUND, maybe he’ll sleep a little longer and you can have some free time, too. But you’ll have to tip-toe. And put your phone on vibrate. But set it on something soft, cause it still makes noise if it vibrates while on the coffee table. And take off your clothes.”

“Take off my clothes?”

“He’ll hear your uniform rustling! Duh.”

“Whatever.” (Rolls eyes and does not remove clothing, but continues to walk toward bedroom.)

(Baby moans.)

“I TOLD YOU SO. Way to go, Jeff.”

*****

Does it sound like we don’t enjoy spending time with our baby? Yeah, that’s what it sounds like. Of course, that’s not true. We really just grow to hate each other a little more anytime one of us gets 3 minutes of free time that the other did not get as well. We’re like two siblings arguing because HIS half of the cookie is bigger than MY half. So immature.

(Ew. Did I just compare my husband and I to siblings? Yes. I did. Ew.)

watching_the_telly.jpgSeriously, Ethan can be fun. And we like hanging out with him. But he can be devilish, too. Apparently yelling is the new cool thing to do. He yells when he wants something. He yells when I try to make him eat Gerber Meat Sticks (although if I had to eat them, you can bet I wouldn’t do it without yelling, either, so I kind of don’t blame him). He yells when his mouth is 2 centimeters from your ear, just for fun.

Along with the yelling, though, has come talking, and that pretty much makes up for it. He says “mama” and “dada” and, as I’ve mentioned, “blue.” But he can also say “moo” and “one,” only he says it in French, “un,” because though he is small, he is very intelligent.

If you ask Ethan how old he is, he will hold up one finger. For real. And if you’re lucky, sometimes the finger will continue on its journey upwards, all the way to his mouth, where he makes “buh buh buh” noises by flicking his lips. Intelligent and a great sense of humor. What a catch he’s going to be someday.

And it doesn’t stop there. He’s finally started using the signs we’ve been trying to teach him for months. So far he can sign thank you, eat,spidey_steps.jpg more, and juice. Now we just have to work on ‘potty’, ‘vomit’ and ‘all out of smokes’ and we’ll be set.

But wait, it gets better… Ethan is walking. I’m not even kidding. When did he decide it was time to stop being a baby??? Suddenly I have a toddler. A toddler who can toddle like 6 steps in a row before his big head wins the fight with gravity and sends him rushing toward the ground.

Watch the video, and listen closely… That scream? That I’m-so-excited-look-what-I-just-did scream? Oh, your ears will bleed pure sugar. He is that sweet. But the best part… the celebration at the end of an arduous 2-foot-long journey, wherein Ethan vigorously claps for himself and his achievement. Amazing.


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