Everybody Loves Lazy

29 04 2006

mystery glassDid you ever see that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray leaves his suitcase on the stairs FOREVER because he just assumes that Debra will take care of it, you know, that being a wifely duty and all… Someone (I can’t remember who) ends up placing a piece of stinky cheese in the suitcase, because this way they won’t be able to ignore the big elephant on the stairs.

I need some stinky cheese. Or better yet- some broccoli. Because there is a glass on the kitchen table THAT I KNOW FOR A FACT does not belong to me. I know this because there is many-days-old purple juice that is, as we speak, chemically bonding itself into the glass, and I don’t drink purple juice. So the question is, why is whoever left that glass on the table not picking it up and putting it, if not in the dishwasher, at least in the sink? I’d even settle for next to the sink.

We don’t eat dinner at the table every night; the last time we did was Tuesday. That glass has been sitting there for four days. Four days! It doesn’t have a nipple on it, so it’s safe to bet that the culprit isn’t Ethan. That only leaves one suspect, who shall remain nameless…

Really, Jeffrey, would you be able to live with yourself if that glass ends up sitting there until our next move, three years from now, when Ike and Honda return to pack our things? Could you face the embarrassment of having our old, dirty glass with moldy juice in it rolled up in 72 sheets of packing paper and moved to Alaska with us?

Don’t let this glass be our Big Fork and Big Spoon, Jeff!


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29 04 2006
Hallie

A very similar thing happened with a bag Jonathan used for a trip to his dad’s. He first assumed I packed his bag, especially because it was his birthday. We get home and he never emptied it. I put it in front of the sink in the bathroom and he just moves it. We talk about it and he won’t empty it. I was very tempted to put his stinky work clothes on his side of the bed. But I didn’t want to contaminate the bed. So Caley, I sympathize with you.

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