Fractured Fairy Tale

28 03 2006


Once upon a time, there lived a happy little family… a family that could take their angel of a baby out to dinner in a restaurant, a real one, with other people, and not only would their baby not make a peep the whole time, but he’d usually sleep through the entire meal, from soup to nuts.

This baby’s angelic qualities were known throughout the land, far and wide, from Carlisle to Chicago. A lovely maiden who’d witnessed the baby’s superior behavior firsthand once said that were the baby ever to act like those other WRETCHED children who screamed and cried and fussed and killed people with their horrific noises, the lovely maiden would never speak to the baby’s parents again.

Goodbye, lovely maiden (René); it was nice knowing you.

All I can say is that I’m glad Ethan chose a night when we were dining no further up the scale than IHOP to unleash the beast. There were little hands flinging yogurt, lots of yelling and his signature moans.

And silverware? Ethan has a built in metal detector and will find it, no matter where you stash it (because there are oh-so-many hiding places on a table- behind the menus and in the salt shaker pretty much cover all the bases). No no, accept that you will be lowered to eating with your fingers for fear of having to explain to the people in the booth across from you that you’re “so sorry– but Baby’s training to be a knife thrower in the circus, he’s just practicing!”

As Jeff informed me at the end of a meal that felt like it lasted DAYS, “It’s only going to get worse.”

Greeeat.


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3 responses

28 03 2006
Hallie

More power to you! I watched at least 7 parents try to keep their children tame at Olive Garden (all for my sake). It seems to be very tricky.

31 03 2006
Ethan's Oma

When was Ethan in Chicago ? I think he was probably trying to take the silverware because he inherited his mother’s affinity for stealing restaurant furnishings. This is not necessarily a predictor of future behavior when eating in public because right now he is too young to be reasoned with (bribed).

31 03 2006
Caley

he’s never been to chicago- but that’s where his ‘uncle’ dave lives.

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