3 sheets to the wind

2 03 2006

Whenever I ask Jeff to do something that he doesn’t want to do, his excuse for trying to get out of it is usually “But you do it so much better than me!” This applies to making sandwiches, bathing the baby, and countless other tedious tasks.

But when it comes to folding the laundry, Jeff is, for once, right; I really do do it so much better than he does. On more than one occasion, I have refolded every single piece of clean laundry in the basket after Jeff has, as he calls it, “folded” them first. I call it “balling up clean (and before Jeff touched them) wrinkle-free clothes, thus making a mockery out of what it is I do for this family and this household every day.” We all have a right to our own opinion.

But what gets me THE WORST is the way he (along with 99% of Americans) “folds” the fitted sheet. I can’t even tell you how many times we have gotten into arguments over the cruel joke that is the Ultimate Unfoldable Linen. Jeff’s attitude is that to attempt to fold it is a waste a time, since even when you do try, the end result looks the same as if you had just balled it up in the first place.

He questions why I continue, load after load, to try to tame the beast. The answer is that I would not be able to sleep at night if I knew there was a balled up, wrinkled mass of sheet in the closet. Knowing that there was one unfolded thing in a closet full of nicely, neatly folded and symmetrically placed other things would keep me lying there awake telling myself what a failure at domestic duties I am. All night long.

I’m sick, I know.

But now, thanks to Target, I can sleep the sleep of the drugged (much like that first night I spent in the hospital in labor, dreaming of Hindu people), and not have to give any undue thought to bed linens, or towels (don’t even get me started on the way he folds towels…) or any other such thing. 5 step-by-step instructions with photos, and Target gaurantees that I will have “100% perfect results, everytime.” That’s big talk. Do you think that if I’m not 100% satisfied that they’ll replace my badly folded sheets with a husband who can fold them correctly?



5 responses

2 03 2006

Don’t you just love that the first thing you see after reading the title is a picture of a baby? 🙂

3 03 2006

you are better than me. you make a wicked sandwich!

3 03 2006
Ethan's Oma

Caley, men do these things on purpose so that they will be excused from certain duties. Didn’t I already tell you that ?

3 03 2006
Kelly Gleason

Just wanted to send a hello! I loved looking at all the pictures of Ethan! How big he is getting! What a cutie!!! So…moved to VA, huh? Learn something new every day…

8 03 2006
Ethan's Oma

Okay, I have to come clean here. I must confess to intentionally double-creasing Caley’s father’s uniforms for the sole purpose of not having to iron them. There. I feel better, and now of course I admit that it’s not just men that do that, however I believe that if a scientific survey was done there would be an overwhelming majority of men who were guilty of that practice (assuming they were capable of being honest).

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