Evolution

Or, The Making of a Gamer

Age: 11 days

Note: The subject is not quite old enough to realize the significance of the event taking place. What’s important here is the exposure.

Age: 7 weeks

Note: Again, we focus on early exposure; it matters not that the subject seems unaware of the controller he is “holding.” He needs to know that video games will be a constant in his life. Also of importance- the increased independence, as Dad is allowing him to “play” by himself. Much like letting go of the seat of your child’s bicycle.

Age: 4 1/2 months

Note: Now the subject has become aware of the object in his hands, and is fascinated by the buttons and the colors. Hello, Xbox, he says. We shall become great friends.

Age: 13 months

Note: Subject shows an increased awareness of the functions of the controller; there are many different buttons, and pushing them is enjoyable. The subject is also learning that successful gaming takes intense concentration, as evidenced by his teacher’s expression.

Age: 15 months

Note: Ah. Now here we see that the subject has reached an age at which he can comprehend that the action (pushing the buttons) has an effect (things move on the screen, and Dad yells). The subject, however, can not push buttons and observe the action on the screen simultaneously.

Age: 17 months

Note: The expression on the subject’s face is one of… is that… could it be? Boredom? Disinterest, perhaps? Here we see the influence of the subject’s mother coming into play. Or possibly the subject is exhibiting a common emotion (impatience) at having to wait for his turn.

Age: 22 months

Note: Clearly, taking part in this ritual causes the subject to experience a sense of belonging, comaraderie, that he is “one of the boys.” By this time, the subject has come to know and love the game console and views it as part of the family.

Age: 29 months

Note: The subject can now follow action on the screen, and comprehends that it is determined by the sequence of buttons/triggers that he applies (actions he can now complete simultaneously). Also of importance: at this stage he has acquired The Look (eyes glazed over and slightly unfocused, mouth ajar; if you were to speak to him at this moment, he would not hear you), a characteristic expression of one deeply involved in (virtual) battle or sport.

Projection: The subject will remain at this stage for another 20 years or so; over time, his skill level will continuously increase. Then at some point he’ll begin seeking a mate who is accepting of his lifestyle, and his goal will be to procreate and begin the cycle all over again.